That's Flattering, but I Don't Think So

This post isn't meant to sound arrogant. My observations are based on what people tell me, oftentimes without any prompting on my part. This also isn't self-deprecating, or wailing on a system that's been the way that it is for too long. I'm just responding, and critiquing myself against society's "ideal" as if comparing two pieces in the same genre or era of art. And I'm really good at that, considering I've been in the art studies field for over 5 years now. That said, here goes.

I went to a fashion show a few days ago. Some outfits were neat, most of them I wouldn't wear, and for the most part they were interesting. Totally unrelated to what I wrote above, I find it interest to see aspiring fashion students dress up for a fashion show, as if to prove that they belong in that atmosphere, and others choose not to and just soak up the experience.

Now related, while watching the models walk down the runway I thought about how they're literally supposed to be walking statues, androids if you will. Mobile mannequins that are supposed to make your outfits look good. I admired the models that had more attitude and personality, but didn't distract against the clothes. It was a breath of fresh air when compared against most of the other models (were they less experienced?) that had the same dead expression and walked slightly tilted back as if their walk cycle overcompensated for gravity.

Other thoughts that played through my mind had to do with people within the last year or so suggesting that I should try modeling. Of course I'm flattered when someone says it, but I never really take it to heart. I don't fit in with that world. I can't take it seriously, and I can't imagine living my life so out of my control that my body is regulated by someone else's wishes so that I make them and their product look good. The closest I ever came to making an effort was opening an account on ModelMayhem.com, which I rarely check anyway.

On a more practical note, however, it wouldn't be wise to use me as a model. Besides the fact that I'm at least 3 inches too short to even be considered for a runway model, I imagine these clothes are meant to be produced for and consumed by a wide audience. Clothes made for my body type would not achieve this. The different areas of my body contrast each other so much it's silly:

• I have a small frame, duh.
• Most of weight (visually as well as physiologically) is in my bottom half.
• Though my torso is relatively small, and I'm as developed as I was in 8th grade, I've got defined shoulders. Actually from neck to waist I'm shaped like a man, plus boobs.
• My hips and thighs put me up a size more often than not, but there's no clear definition between my wait and hips, visually. It's because the measurements in my hips go up in depth b/c of my butt as opposed to width.
• Luckily the weight in my butt rides high, and doesn't settle (like the classic white girl Tear-Drop Shape), nor does it appear heavy and come off as fat. But to accommodate, my thighs are wider and taper to my slimmer calves and ankles.
• And my feet are just eh. Wide weird and unattractive.
• But I've got a good face!

lol, again, not self deprecating, just comparing. I'm happy with who I am and how I look, and if I get and stay in shape I can look good for a while yet. To compensate for my less than ideal stature, one nice fellow a few nights ago suggested I look into doing print ads. I can just see it now: me posed and happy in a nice sundress for a Kohl's sales mag that you all get in the mail and then throw away, making all other middle-aged women jealous of my figure. Hahaha. No but srsly. I guess if a reliable person suggested it and got me a legitimate gig (and was hassle free for me), I'd try it out.

Who knows where the future will lead!?!?