Monday, September 13, 2010

Blitz Friendships?

I don't wanna sound like I'm blowing my own horn, but I feel like a siren. I go around to different cities, do what I gotta do there, and move on. But when I move I leave all these people behind who miss me, and express it vehemently. Sometime early on in high school, maybe even middle school, I was in a phase where I wondered for a while Who would come to my funeral if I died? Essentially, Who cared whether I was still around or not? I am fortunate enough now that I don't even feel the need to ask that question. I feel loved, and that's all I really ever wanted.

What's interesting is that at some point in college I began to take a different approach to my friendships. I didn't go into them thinking "These are the days/people that I'll remember for the rest of my life," making a big deal over of them. Instead, I just acknowledged that so and so and I got along well so we just hung out, and I tried to have fun with them. That's all, really. The majority of the friends I thought I was emotionally investing in at the time I don't really speak to anymore. And that's fine. I expect to make and lose a few friends yet over the next handful of years, while I'm still Exploring Life.

All in all, I'm kind of inclined to think that it's the frequent moving that gets people to realize how much they enjoy spending time with me (though I'm sure my dynamic of friendship has changed for the better over the years). So on the one hand I'm thinking "Why not continue doing this? Making friends and moving, and seeing friends a few times a year?" But I know that it'll get tedious in time, and soon I'll find that those friendships become less than substantial, and I'll feel empty, again.

So for the time being I'm gonna cherish the love, and try to see my awesome friends all over the nation as much as I can afford to. :-)